Theory of Fear:

I am afraid of many things like falling from high distances, the ocean, and being alone which are all pretty rational fears. Except two of my fears. First, the dark. Then, myself. I'm not afraid of what I don't see in the dark but rather what I will see when I turn the lights on. Will there be a bloody fanged beast waiting for me? If it does appear is it really there if I cant feel it-or even if I can but nobody else can? What is a ghost or a demon if it only appears to one person and is it all in their head? This falls into the category of fear of myself. When I am afraid I start to hear things and see things-shadows that shouldn't be there. This is when I wonder, if my fear can cause me to see and hear things that perhaps aren't there, then can my fear manifest into touch or smells that exist in my own mind? What happens when my hallucinations start to hurt me? Who is to say whether they are actually in my mind or exist perhaps outside my mind and in the "real" world. After all, what is Schizophrenia but what a "normal" person makes of it? What if Schizophrenics have fears that are "real" but only they can see and if the pain they feel is real, why cant the illusions be real? Then again, what defines "real" and who's to say what is real or not? I am afraid that one day my fear will drive me insane. Anyways, all this talk of supernatural horrors that do or don't exist is starting to scare me. I'm starting to hear whispers again very close to my ear...it kind of.....hurts....